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We Saw This Half-Horse, Half-Human DJ, So Now You Have To – Twitchy

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April 8, 2025
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German Catholic Church's Ash Wednesday Music Made Us Recoil in Horror (WATCH) – Twitchy

In case it’s not already blatantly obvious, we have a serious mental health crisis in society these days.

In addition to all of the men pretending to be women so that they can invade women’s sports, bathrooms, and locker rooms, some people are pretending that they are animals. And they expect other people to take them seriously. 





What’s worse is that there are some people who WILL take them seriously, all in the name of ‘affirmation.’ 

Recently, we told you about a woman in Oregon who not only ‘identifies’ as a turtle (yes, a turtle) but has been named to the state’s consumer advisory panel on … wait for it … mental and behavioral health. 

But we think we’ve found a nutcase who tops even that. 

We apologize for showing this to our Twitchy readers, but it is the iron rule of the Internet: We saw it, so now you have to. 

Twitchy, meet German DJ ‘HorsegiirL.’

Sweet Baby Jesus, take the wheel. 

Now, it’s not uncommon for musicians to take on personas as a marketing gimmick. After all, that’s all Sam Smith does in lieu of any actual talent. And we are old enough to remember a certain rock band who achieved international fame in the 70s by donning the makeup of a demon, a cat, a spaceman, and … whatever Paul Stanley was supposed to be. 

But even in KISS’s heyday, when they never removed their makeup when a camera was present, it was still clear to everyone, including them, that it was all an act. 

But as this People magazine interview shows, ‘HorsegiirL’ truly believes that she is half horse, half human (but don’t call her a centaur because … reasons). 

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PEOPLE: You are half horse, half human, but not exactly the same kind that we’ve seen in a lot of media. What separates you from a centaur?

HorsegiirL: Centaurs, from what I understand, and I’m not a biologist, but I’ve heard that they are usually not even a full horse human but a horse wizard, magical being, whereas I’m just a boring old human horse.

LOL. Well, it’s nice that she admits that she’s not a biologist. Only people with advanced biology degrees — probably from Hogwarts — can properly identify mythical centaurs. 

But that’s about enough of that nonsense. In the interview, ‘HorsegiirL’ goes on to talk about her favorite backstage horse snacks, such as apples and carrots. But no hay, because even though she loves it, it is not a healthy snack. She is also very upset with some musicians for ‘appropriating horse culture.’ 

We’re at a complete loss. 

You and us both. 

Yes. And let’s bring back insane asylums while we’re at it. 





We really, really, REALLY do not want to know anything about ‘HorsegiirL’s’ fan fiction erotica. 

HUGE neigh. Not to ‘stirrup’ any trouble, but we need to rein in this madness. 

Alright, that’s enough horse puns. Stop foaling around, people.

HA. Are there any colors left? 

Maybe they can add a mottled polka dot color, like an Appaloosa.

It’s always ‘ze Germans,’ isn’t it?

HAHAHAHAHA. 

No, Tim Walz. We haven’t forgotten about your weird relationship with horses. 





Just another part of our childhood ruined forever. 

That’s a very good point. If she really is half horse, why is People magazine interviewing her? 

HEY. That’s not nice. 

(OK, we laughed.)

We’re right there with ya’, Winnie the Pooh. We’re right there with ya’.

The trauma is real.

We need to put an immediate halt on scientists until we can figure out what the heck is WRONG with them. 





Of course, none of this is real, just more delusion. But it IS a real problem that People magazine takes it so seriously. 

Whew, you can say that again. 

Maybe along with putting ‘HorsegiirL’ in one, where she belongs, the ‘journalists’ at People magazine could use a padded room themselves for ‘affirming’ this insanity.

We don’t think the world will miss their hard-hitting reporting like this interview even a little bit.







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