In case it’s not already blatantly obvious, we have a serious mental health crisis in society these days.
In addition to all of the men pretending to be women so that they can invade women’s sports, bathrooms, and locker rooms, some people are pretending that they are animals. And they expect other people to take them seriously.
What’s worse is that there are some people who WILL take them seriously, all in the name of ‘affirmation.’
Recently, we told you about a woman in Oregon who not only ‘identifies’ as a turtle (yes, a turtle) but has been named to the state’s consumer advisory panel on … wait for it … mental and behavioral health.
But we think we’ve found a nutcase who tops even that.
We apologize for showing this to our Twitchy readers, but it is the iron rule of the Internet: We saw it, so now you have to.
Twitchy, meet German DJ ‘HorsegiirL.’
HorsegiirL Is Half-Human, Half-Horse and a Full Musician. How She Went from the Farm to Coachella (Exclusive) https://t.co/62fdXHaH9G
— People (@people) April 7, 2025
Sweet Baby Jesus, take the wheel.
Now, it’s not uncommon for musicians to take on personas as a marketing gimmick. After all, that’s all Sam Smith does in lieu of any actual talent. And we are old enough to remember a certain rock band who achieved international fame in the 70s by donning the makeup of a demon, a cat, a spaceman, and … whatever Paul Stanley was supposed to be.
But even in KISS’s heyday, when they never removed their makeup when a camera was present, it was still clear to everyone, including them, that it was all an act.
But as this People magazine interview shows, ‘HorsegiirL’ truly believes that she is half horse, half human (but don’t call her a centaur because … reasons).
PEOPLE: You are half horse, half human, but not exactly the same kind that we’ve seen in a lot of media. What separates you from a centaur?
HorsegiirL: Centaurs, from what I understand, and I’m not a biologist, but I’ve heard that they are usually not even a full horse human but a horse wizard, magical being, whereas I’m just a boring old human horse.
LOL. Well, it’s nice that she admits that she’s not a biologist. Only people with advanced biology degrees — probably from Hogwarts — can properly identify mythical centaurs.
But that’s about enough of that nonsense. In the interview, ‘HorsegiirL’ goes on to talk about her favorite backstage horse snacks, such as apples and carrots. But no hay, because even though she loves it, it is not a healthy snack. She is also very upset with some musicians for ‘appropriating horse culture.’
We’re at a complete loss.
Where is the exit? I want off this planet. https://t.co/nRhxpCQlXb
— 𝒦𝒾𝓉𝒾𝟦𝓊 (@Kiti4u) April 7, 2025
You and us both.
Bring back bullying. https://t.co/0xilbWKs9k
— K ✌🏼 (@kdavid5513) April 7, 2025
Yes. And let’s bring back insane asylums while we’re at it.
FFS . It’s time . https://t.co/fY4iIGRERO pic.twitter.com/UVPJxcHVA5
— 🔫POG EX MACHINA (@VetbroWarioNKA) April 7, 2025
Don’t ever ever ever think I’m weird asking people who don’t think unborn babies are human what kind of barn animal they’ve had sex with.
Bookmarking. https://t.co/CYfz2kqDmG
— Queen Velvet (@TMIWITW) April 7, 2025
We really, really, REALLY do not want to know anything about ‘HorsegiirL’s’ fan fiction erotica.
That’s going to be a hell neeeeeeeigh for me https://t.co/eURDVoSXX4
— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) April 7, 2025
HUGE neigh. Not to ‘stirrup’ any trouble, but we need to rein in this madness.
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Neighbeline. https://t.co/TsrssrsfL3 pic.twitter.com/6NUvDFXoff
— Joseph (@Joseph3141593) April 7, 2025
She’s probably a nightmare to some poor guy.
— T.C. (@CaveMarine) April 7, 2025
Why the long face?
— Planet Of Memes (@PlanetOfMemes) April 8, 2025
Alright, that’s enough horse puns. Stop foaling around, people.
Gonna need a new color on the Pride Flag, guys. https://t.co/WxQKtgN5Lu
— Gen-X Wolf™ (@GenXWolf) April 7, 2025
HA. Are there any colors left?
Maybe they can add a mottled polka dot color, like an Appaloosa.
https://t.co/Tllw7LGXbY pic.twitter.com/84D22TOYLz
— EnthusiasticallyBored (@Verbish75) April 7, 2025
It’s always ‘ze Germans,’ isn’t it?
@Tim_Walz I’m so sorry they made the first human horse hybrid, a woman. 😭 https://t.co/fFGTohkPiH
— Haikus From Underground (@HaikusFromUnder) April 7, 2025
HAHAHAHAHA.
No, Tim Walz. We haven’t forgotten about your weird relationship with horses.
I really thought this was going to have an April 1 publish date. Perhaps it was delayed?
— Pam D (@soirchick) April 7, 2025
— MasterThief, Diogenes of the Hellsite (@MasterThiefEsq) April 7, 2025
Just another part of our childhood ruined forever.
The media is so broken. People Magazine doesn’t even write about people anymore smh https://t.co/pk8AZmedhu
— Bosco Ross (@Bosco__Ross) April 7, 2025
Seems like you should rename your magazine
— Paimon’s Burner (@burner4hire) April 8, 2025
That’s a very good point. If she really is half horse, why is People magazine interviewing her?
I’m glad that Sarah Jessica Parker is finding a way to reinvent herself in a new medium https://t.co/ufwlinzDUp
— Enguerrand VII de Coucy (@ingelramdecoucy) April 7, 2025
HEY. That’s not nice.
(OK, we laughed.)
https://t.co/4AHrZA0DuK pic.twitter.com/6Wwra7Sxyz
— Tony Kinnett (@TheTonus) April 7, 2025
We’re right there with ya’, Winnie the Pooh. We’re right there with ya’.
I saw a Mr Beast video followed by this and it did irreparable cognitive damage to me https://t.co/s7mNtrPUbP
— Ted (@TedInPittsburgh) April 7, 2025
The trauma is real.
First the Dire Wolf and now this. Scientists are TOTALLY out of control in this country. https://t.co/CRCrhlic63
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) April 7, 2025
We need to put an immediate halt on scientists until we can figure out what the heck is WRONG with them.
Of course, none of this is real, just more delusion. But it IS a real problem that People magazine takes it so seriously.
Reopen the asylums !! pic.twitter.com/orilHgOlB0
— Julian (@Donnosinclair) April 8, 2025
Whew, you can say that again.
Maybe along with putting ‘HorsegiirL’ in one, where she belongs, the ‘journalists’ at People magazine could use a padded room themselves for ‘affirming’ this insanity.
We don’t think the world will miss their hard-hitting reporting like this interview even a little bit.