The Horrible Things X Users Would Rather Do Than Attend a Town Hall Featuring Tim Walz and Beto O’Rourke – Twitchy

Texas Democrat Beto O’Rourke is being plucked from obscurity to do a fake town hall with Tim Walz this Thursday. A poster on X posed a question: Would you rather attend their town hall or be stuck listening to a 3-hour-long Kamala Harris podcast? With those two choices being equally horrible, commenters came up with third options instead and they’re pretty hilarious.

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Would you rather attend this, or listen to a 3-hour podcast with Kamala Harris? pic.twitter.com/fcdNzU7X58

— Suburban Black Man 🇺🇸 (@niceblackdude) March 25, 2025

I forgot all about Beto

— Salt farmer (@3mptyAlmost) March 25, 2025

Beto has been resurrected?! They must be REALLY D E S P E R A T E!!!!

— Kellie (@Opinion8dKellie) March 25, 2025

Two horrid choices…..

— Primary-Tillis-2026 (@toldyaso2022) March 25, 2025

We put Beto out of our minds, too.

Commenters felt the two options were equally horrid so let’s see what third options they came up with instead.

We need a 3 option such as… “Or… get kicked repeatedly in the shins for a day by an angry, spoiled 5 year old who’s wearing Sunday ‘go to church’ shoes?” I’m going with the bratty kid kicking my shins. 🫤

— Jon, No H 🇺🇸 (@jmt29609) March 25, 2025

Ouch!

We noticed there was a trend of posters who’d prefer blindness to the Tim and Beto show or the Kamala-cast.

I would rather poke both of my eyes out with a pencil

— Suburban Gal (@SuburbsGal) March 25, 2025

I’ll take #3 Hot Poker in the eye, Alex.

— DD (@Dedicata) March 25, 2025

I’ll take a dull knife to the eye

— LizsLaine (@lizs_laine) March 25, 2025

Bear in mind this would not prevent you from hearing Tim, Beto, and Kams.

This next option doesn’t sound that much different than spending an evening with Walz.

Recommended

I’ll take: c) A three-hour Liberace retrospective.

— Skwerl 1 Actual (@Yo_Squirrely) March 25, 2025

Some would prefer some invasive medical procedures.

I’d rather have a colonscopy…

— cant_limit_me (@cant_limit_me) March 25, 2025

I’m due for a colonoscopy, I’d rather have that.🤣

— Be Strategic! (@bestrategic2) March 25, 2025

Other commenters would prefer naked pain. Well, pain endured while being naked.

I’d rather cook bacon naked for three hours.

— Al Terego – America First (@terego_allen) March 25, 2025

Neither,I’d rather run naked through thorn bushes

— Bud Livingston (@Kager4life) March 25, 2025

Some want to go to Florida but not for vacation.

Is, swim across a alligator infested river also an option?

— Jack (@DefeatCorruptDC) March 25, 2025

Neither I’d rather be in that El Salvador prison

— kelly paschall (@bbqgoddess) March 25, 2025

That place is Hell on Earth. Still preferable to an evening with Tim and Beto, though.

Looks like we got a Weird Al fan.

I’d rather eat shards of broken glass, stick my nostrils together with crazy glue, slam my fingers in a door, shove an ice pick under a toenail, dive into a swimming pool filled with double edged razor blades and clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue.

— Sweettart (@Birdlady6t8) March 25, 2025

‘One More Minute’ is one of Weird Al’s best original songs.

Posters are wondering where Beto O’Rourke has been.

Beto O’Rourke again?! Where’d they dig him up?

— queen_jools (@QnJools) March 25, 2025

Oh god, is O’Rourke climbing back out of his hole, I was hoping we’d seen the last of this loser 🤡 here in Texas, he just doesn’t know when to quit.😝

— TexasRykerChick05 (@TChick05) March 25, 2025\

sure to be a jazz hands arm flapping & leg kicking extravaganza!

— Emberday (@mwnine) March 25, 2025

It’s only fitting that they placed an empty stadium in the background.

— Bob Anders 🇺🇸 (@bobof_the) March 25, 2025

Don’t worry they’ll find paid and even unpaid Democrats to fill the seats at the ‘town hall.’ We have to admit Beto is an unusual choice to resurrect for this staged event, he has not been politically visible since losing to Texas Governor Greg Abbott way back in 2022.