Perverted left is now mad that Republicans want to prevent children from buying sex toys

In a surprise to nobody, the perverted left is now mad that Republicans want to prevent children from buying sex toys.

Texas state Sen. Angela Paxton, the wife of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, has introduced a common-sense bill that would bar the sale of “obscene devices” such as sex toys to those under 18.

The barring of children purchasing sex toys would be achieved through the implementation of an “age verification process” that all sex toy retailers would have to abide by.

“Acceptable age-verification processes include submitting government-issued photographic identification, utilizing third-party verification services that access public records to verify age and limiting sales to payment methods only available to those 18 and up,” according to the Dallas Observer.

Anyone who were to fail to abide by the law would be hit with a Class A Misdemeanor and also subject to a $5,000 fine for each infraction.

All this sounds perfectly fair, right? Not to liberals. To them, this reeks of authoritarian overreach, because God forbid children be barred from accessing adult toys.

The war against masturbation rages on in the Texas Legislature.. A new Senate bill, filed by Texas Sen. Angela Paxton, Ken Paxton’s apparently frigid other half, would require online shoppers to submit photo identification before purchasing a sex toy..

— Old Man Lefty (@OldManLefty1) April 9, 2025

“Requiring ID to purchase a sex toy sends the message that pleasure is something to be policed and surveilled,” Shamyra Howard, a licensed clinical social worker and so-called sex educator, whined to the Observer.

“It pathologizes something that is completely normal and turns a private, healthy act into something shameful. This kind of legislation doesn’t protect people; it embarrasses them. It creates unnecessary barriers and reinforces harmful stigmas that many of us have spent years trying to dismantle,” she added.

Howard continued by touting the alleged health benefits of sex toys.

“What’s often overlooked is that sex toys are not just about pleasure,” she said. “They’re also part of comprehensive sexual wellness. Men use them too, both for pleasure and to manage erectile issues, neuropathy from diabetes, and poor blood flow related to high blood pressure.”

“There are devices designed to support pain management, pelvic floor health, sex toys even help people manage mental health issues through stress relief and help to re-establish intimacy after medical procedures or trauma,” she added.

This makes sense for Republicans.

After you take away all of their rights, then you take away the only thing giving them an orgasm, a machine. Cause you know Republican men make ‘em as dry as the Sahara. Put that in a bill and smoke it.

— Jordan Lamonte III (@jlamonteIII) April 9, 2025

It gets better. Howard also claimed that trying to tie “age verification” to the sale of sex toys is an attack on women.

“These restrictions absolutely function as a proxy attack on women’s sexual autonomy,” she said. “Sex toys are tools of empowerment. They allow people, especially women, to explore their pleasure, address sexual concerns, and experience intimacy on their own terms. That challenges traditional gender roles that often expect women to be passive participants in their own pleasure.”

The reactions on social media have been even more bizarre and unhinged.

Look:

They just can’t stay out of people’s bedrooms.

— Rosie Garcia (@RosieGa07693298) April 9, 2025

More silliness and waste of time and taxpayer money.

— A S (@spenceal1980) April 9, 2025

What’s next, MAGA cameras in bedrooms to monitor people making love?!? What deranged people they are!!! ‍♂️

— Falco Ners (@NersFalco) April 9, 2025

I hope she is happy. She just made it harder to satisfy herself, because this disgusting douchebag certainly couldn’t do it for her. His eyes are so whacked, he couldn’t even find the target if he tried.

— Rikkimax1957 (@Def_Bassman) April 9, 2025

Another example of them being perverted weirdness. Obsessed with the sex life & genitals of others whilst ignoring those amongst them who are actual predators & doing the job they are paid to do

— April Diamond (@AprilDi82198376) April 9, 2025

They want a government so small that it fits in your bedroom. It’s only a matter of time before they create a hotline for people to report their lovers if they try to have sex in a position other than the missionary, or if they have sex without the intention of having a baby.

— Cry Beloved Country (@CryFreeedomCry) April 9, 2025

So just to summarize, Republicans are silly, perverted, and weird for wanting to keep sex toys away from children. Uh huh.

Senior Staff Writer
[email protected]

V. Saxena is a staff writer for BizPac Review with a decade of experience as a professional writer, and a lifetime of experience as an avid news junkie. He holds a degree in computer technology from Purdue University.

Latest posts by Vivek Saxena (see all)

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, profanity, vulgarity, doxing, or discourteous behavior. If a comment is spam, instead of replying to it please click the ∨ icon below and to the right of that comment. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain fruitful conversation.